Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
