There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
