I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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