So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
