just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
