I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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