I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she peed on how many people?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
