It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
