Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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