I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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