My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize