Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
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