i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
