i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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