chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Of course I have a pirate flag
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
