Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
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she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
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We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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