You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
