If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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