i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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