There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize