So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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