whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
