these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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