I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
