I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
