so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
