we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
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We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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