Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.