Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(312): View more from Illinois

i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'

(312): View more from Illinois

i was like PREG?

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(641): View more from Iowa

FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER

(1-641): View more from Iowa

STOP listening to that song

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(416): View more from Ontario

She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.

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(207): View more from Maine

I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(240): View more from Maryland

boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina

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(312): View more from Illinois

the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision

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(917): View more from New York City

SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE

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