SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
