Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He felt like a one man threesome
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well