You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize
