i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
my shit smells like andre
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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