Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
