Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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