just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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