Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
