I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
