Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
