Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
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I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
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you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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