you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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