no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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