Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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