He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize