Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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