I feel great
I just peed on a car
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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