It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
