Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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