How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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