it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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