her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
