Kiss
Puke
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
