i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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