with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
