Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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