It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The best revenge is premature balding
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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