I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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