and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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