***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
look no pants
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
