maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
