Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
