I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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