What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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